Update

As I already mentioned, when I'm not feeling confident about this process, I do not want to blog about it.  So, let's see if I can recall this last week.  It's not been the best one ever.

I woke up Tuesday morning with a sore throat.  And Tuesday was the longest day ever.  I had small group at 5:30am, followed by work and then I went straight from work to my in-laws to do a Thirty-One party.  The guests lingered.  I finally headed home just before 10:00pm.  Ugh.  And by that time I felt pretty horrible. 

I don't remember a lot about Wednesday, except that I just didn't feel pregnant anymore.  It seemed that all the symptoms I had had vanished. 

Thursday...still sick.  Stayed home from work in the morning.  Still not feeling the least bit pregnant.  Just coughing my head off.

Friday was my dad's 60th birthday, so he came to celebrate.  It was good to have the distraction.  We went to Bonefish Grill for dinner.  We ordered mussels for an appetizer (and bang bang shrimp, of course).  That was a new experience.  They really weren't too bad.  And the broth in the bottom of the bowl was delicious.

Saturday was pretty low-key.  We decorated our tree (at last) in the morning.  And then we had some pho for lunch (Vietnamese noodle soup...so delicious and another adventure).  That afternoon, Luke and Jamie and Harper surprised my dad by coming to Wichita as well.  We hung out all afternoon and evening and had some of my dad's chili for dinner and an custard cake from Freddy's for dessert. 

At this point, I'm so certain that I'm not pregnant.  During a quick trip to the grocery store, I convinced Phil to buy more pregnancy tests.  I had taken one earlier in the week...maybe Wednesday or Thursday, and I was sure the line was lighter.  BUT, I took it in the afternoon, and all the rest I had taken first thing in the morning, which HCG should be most concentrated.  So, I decided to wait until Sunday morning to take the test.

In the midst of this there were still things happening that could certainly be consistent with being pregnant.  I had noticed a metallic taste in my mouth for a few days.  And, after dinner on Saturday, I was going to the bathroom and very suddenly realized I was going to throw up and grabbed the trash can just in time.  It really wasn't much.  And since the only time I threw up last pregnancy was the day we found out we lost the baby, I didn't give it much credit as a pregnancy symptom. 

Sunday morning, I took the test at about 5:45am.  The line was still quite dark, but it seemed that the control line was getting darker...there was less contrast between the two.  On my previous tests, the control line was getting very, very faint.  So, I was worried.  Fortunately, I was headed to Topeka for the day for the Thirty-One Spring Product Premiere.  It was good to get out of the house, but I still spent plenty of time worrying about it. 

I would go through cycles every day of feeling like maybe there was still reason to hope to feeling really convinced that there wasn't.  My poor husband was putting up with a lot of drama.  And my friends were praying like crazy.  I'm so grateful for that.  All that brings us to Monday morning.  I woke up before 6:00 and started counting down the hours...